How do you have a warm relationship with your mum

Asked by anon (Male, 22, Algeria) - 2 months ago

I'm sorry in advance because this isn't really related to your topics but I just stumbled on your blog when I saw you were hosting a Q&A and one thing that stands out to me is that fact that you have such a warm and open relationship with your mum. My mum and my relationship is very different. We are close but I don't feel like I can talk to her about anything without being judged and told off and at this point it feels like we lead very separate existences. Is it something that you've worked hard to achieve or has it happened naturally because of your personalities?

1 Answer

Sawiya Ali - 2 months ago

Hello love and thank you for reaching out and even checking out my blog! Hope you are well. 

This is a sticky one... because I don't know exactly how I can advise you on this. However I'll try my best. Having my mum as a friend aswell, is something that has happened naturally. I guess it's because from a young age, she opened that door for us and always said things that stuck in my mind for years. Naturally, her personality plays a part in all of this. My mum is a people-person in general and always goes out of her way to help her family, friends and the community. And I guess it's also vice versa. Growing up, I went to her for everything and talked to her about things, even if it's funny questions about what she got up to when she was younger, going to the cinema, having banter etc. My mum always confides in me and my siblings. So I guess it's a two-way street? 

I would say, have more one-on-one time with her. Go out for a coffee, go see a movie (maybe after this pandemic lol) or just even take a walk and just talk about anything you wanna clear the air on. I always found that when you go on a walk to talk or go to a public area, conversations don't feel as intense because of your surroundings. Sometimes our mothers can be judgemental and I totally get that (my mum has her days!! LOL). I found a way to work this out with my mum from early. One time she wasn't a fan of what I wanted to do in life (career wise, what I wanted to study etc), but once I showed her how WELL I'm doing, she warmed up to it. So for me personally, it was more about action than just "saying" it. What can you do for her to warm up to things? 

I hope this helped!

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