How did you make friends at Oxford? Was it mostly people in your college or your course?

Asked by anon (Male, 22, Algeria) - 5 months ago

I have a conditional offer to study Geography. I went to a state school and there is nobody from my city to Oxford, let alone my school. So, I'm a bit anxious that I'm not going to make any friends when I get there. How did you find it?

1 Answer

Akram Rasikh - 5 months ago

First, congrats on the offer! 

You will make friends, that is 100%. Even during my worst times in Oxford, I had friends around me. 

I had to learn some harsh lessons about socialising whilst I was out there. Firstly, you can have a great personality but if you don't make the effort to actually go out there and speak to people, then thats of no use.

There were a lot of times I stayed in my room and used the phantom excuse of "too much work" from stopping me talking to people in the common room. There were definitely a few times I was apprehensive - especially when alcohol was a prominent factor. But in some sense that made things easier for me because I'd chill with those who didn't go out all the time. 

But even those people required effort at some level. A good friend of mine was a Brazilian student who I recognised from a facebook group. I literally went up to talk to him and since then, we've been good friends. Had I been too cynical and said to myself "arrrr I don't wanna get mugged off or look like a lick bum", then I wouldn't have been friends with him. Socialising requires effort and more times then not, it pays off.

PS

I saw a lot of people make it their prerogative to let me know they went to a state school or some other thing to let me know they were basically "down/cool". One person you CATEGORICALLY do not want to be, is that guy who has state school tattooed on their forehead.  Why? Not because people will think you are too ghetto for them or whatever other reason, but simply because 99% of people don't care.

Venture outside of your college, join and COMMIT to regularly going to events hosted by societies of interest and remember, don't be afraid to socially make the first move.

3 points

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