Do you guys think its a problem if a girl has too many male friends?

Asked by Anonymous - 1 month ago

I've been chatting to this girl for a minute now and we're having serious conversations about doing nikah and married life . After a a few dates she introduced me to her mum and brothers and I introduced her to my mum and that bit went fine. The problems started when she introduced me to her friends from uni and work. I noticed that maybe 70-80% of them are male. I spoke to her about it and she says that shes always grown up with older brothers and thats why she feels more comfortable around guys. She says she doesn't really have any close female friends apart from her cousin. I told her it makes me uncomfortable and she said she's not going to cut off all her friends just because we're married. I am stuck what to do. On one hand I don't know if I am overreacting. On the other I don't think it's appropriate for her to keep such a wide circle of male friends especially if a lot of them are Muslim. Girls what do you think?

2 Answers

Hal G - 2 weeks ago

Hi Anon, I don't think is this is a matter of whether you are overreacting or not. Everyone comes into a relationship with certain perferences, values, etc. and the point of "talking" to someone is to see if you both share said values. You need to ask yourself if its something you are willing to let slide or something you consider a non negotiable. Nobody can really answer that for you. If its really important to you that she cut-off her male friends, and she made it clear that she wont, you should decide if its worth moving forward. Hope this help put things into perspective. 

3 points

Anonymous - 1 month ago

I don't think you're overreacting asking her to cut down the amount of time she spends with her male friends. Ask her how she would feel if the situation was reversed? Islam is very strict on this.

You should not ask her to cut off all those friendships at once however. If she starts to spend less time with her male friends it will happen naturally by itself.

2 points